Oh Canada!

Well, Happy Canada Day to all my fellow Canadians. Every year I have the pleasure of getting juiced/working in Osborne Village and this year was definetly a lot of fun. I got paid to see the sites, get a henna tattoo (a sun on my back...I feel like such a badass hahhaha), buy random items and meet interesting people.

This years Canada Day post is dedicated to a 'touchy' subject because it is always something that is in the eye of the beholder and that is....Fashion!

On Osborne, I see a heck of a lot of Fashion NO NOs and I just thought I'd share my thoughts on this in what I like to call Heather's Fashion Rundown Extravaganza:

Disclaimer: This is what I think when I see this stuff on the street, so if you are a fan of any of these things....don't take it personally aight?

10. Socks with Sandals - Looks like you had your mind set on wearing running shoes, but then were too lazy to bend over so you slipped on some sandals instead.

9. Black Dress Socks with Dressy Shoes and Shorts - Hey buddy, you forgot to put on your dress pants!

8. Shoulder and Back Hair - Chest hair is ok, but excessive shoulder and back hair makes you look like you are wearing a furry shirt

7. Spandex shorts/slouch socks - Cool in the 80s when every body was doing it and lookin craptastic...but its 20 years later and you're still looking craptastic.

6. Hay as an accessory - Thats right boys and girls, hay is not just for horses and rollin around in, you can also wear it in your hair while sporting a jean cat suit.

5. Mesh Shirts - Maybe wearing a mesh shirt is a good idea given Winnipeg's unpredicatble rain showers...probably has little to no drying time. I can only imagine the tan line wearing one would give you though...

4. Big Dudes with Small Dogs - Ok, maybe this isn't really a fashion no no...but every time a big muscular or burly guy with a tiny shitzu or chiwawa would walk by I couldn't help but notice..."Big Guy, Little Dog" or think that it must belong to his girlfriend...so hopefully that wasn't their way to pick up girls cause I just assumed that they were takin given their choice of dog...

3. Suspenders - Now I'm talking about when people wear them...but they're not really wearing them because the suspenders are hanging down around their ankles instead of on their shoulders. Someone will have to explain this fashion statement to me.

2. Big Pants - Dude, your ass is not even in your pants, and I'm pretty sure if aliens were to pop up from the ground and start incinerating people..you'd die because you'd trip on your pants that have fallen around your ankles. (I just saw War of the Worlds...can you tell?)

And the number one, which is actually a huge peeve of mine cause I just don't get why people do this is: (drum roll...)

1. Tight Pants - I thought all girls knew this, but I'll re-iterate. Just because you can 'zip up' a pair of size 4 jeans...does not make you a size 4. They actually have to fit you nicely or else a number of problems can arrise such as a camel toe or a gunt. Wearing a slightly larger size that fits might actually make you look smaller in the long run...who woulda thought?!?

And here is a list of things that made me stare in astonishment:

A: Booby McBoob - Now, we're talking huuuuge and very very fake looking...Like size HHH I swear and her nipples were like perma erect...she reminded me of a femme bot from austin powers.

B: Rat boy - This guy had a pet rat that just walked around from one side of his shoulder to another...it was actually kinda neat...but reminded me of the movie with the guy and the rats. (No idea what that movie was called)

C: Animal Woman - She had accessorised herself for the big outing with a baby chest sling thing (Once again, I have no idea what they are really called) that had two kittens in it, she had a cockatoo on her shoulder, and a dog on a leash...and none of them were running away or being difficult. When I put my cat on a leash, she just lays there or tries to run for cover so I was pretty amazed.

D: Crazy Expression Man - This one street performer always had very animated expressions on his face when he did his tricks...but the expressions kinda scared me (he looked demonic) I hope for him and his girlfriends sake that none of those expressions are his sex face.

Alrite, I'm off to bed...