Halloween Karaoke

Well, its karaoke nite at my bar tonite:

Halloween Karaoke! Always a great time! I believe this group was singing some Cher.

A few things:
Dude who I've banned about 10 times: Why do you keep on coming back in? Oh, you're only an idiot when you drink? Funny I find you here then...whats that? You want a double JD on the rocks? Ok, drink it and then get the hell out of my bar.

Guy I caught looking at my boobs: (I can't blame him cause they were out there tonite..but my conversation with him was funny)
Me: "I'm a kitty"
Guy: "and what a kitty!"
Me: "I'm not in heat right now though, so don't get any ideas..."

Guy who smokes in the boys room: I don't know how many times I told you tonite, don't smoke in there...oh, now you're going to smoke while hanging your dink in the urnal so that I don't walk in and kick you out of there...thats pretty ingenious actually cause I don't need that kind of trauma tonite.

Anyways, this is me in my Kitty Costume with my cute bartender:
I call it 'giving back to my patrons' nite cause they always get a thrill for that one friday a month where I prance around in something other than sweats. Cheers to you patrons!

K, now I have to take off my kitty outfit...(I'm sitting here typing in my cat gear) and then get some sleep! This isn't what I am actually being for Halloween though...I've got great plans for my Monday nite outfit! :)
I also notice, (especially in this pic) that I have gross sweat still on me from practice...I practiced till 10 then changed out of my gym clothes into my bar clothes, drew on a nose and whiskers and put on cat ears...a shower is in order...and some food, I'm starving...

Cat Wants Attention

It never fails, whenever I'm doing work that needs to get done, my cat Maupa thinks its time for me to lavish her with attention...



And yes, I'm fully aware that this is probably the 5th post about my cats this month..I'm having a slow month OK!?!? The men here aren't giving me anything exciting to write about! hahahaha. Actually, when you work from home your pets are kinda like your co-workers...so think of it as a post about my co-worker...yeah...thaaats it...

10 Things

10 reasons why I'm a geek.

10. There are 10 types of people, those who understand binary, and those who don't...Is one of my favorite computer jokes.

9. I'm totally attracted to that goofy type. So if you do really bad imitations or like telling me really bad puns...I think thats endearing!

8. I use to watch Star Trek (the next generation) when all my other friends were watching 90210 and am still a big sci fi fan....LOooooove the space channel.

7. I can speak 7 different languages, uh...computer programming languages.

6. I'm a member of the astronomical society.

5. I dont go for more than a day without touching my computer.

4. I can distinguish the difference between geeks and nerds (as explained to me by my prof, who is also a self proclaimed geek)

3. I think Balmer is one crazy crazy dude...yet somehow he makes me laugh. (disclaimer: I wouldn't do him)

2. Ever see the movie Swordfish where Hugh Jackman (also very hot in this movie cause he's portraying being smart) is hacking into the mainframe system and he's getting all excited and in a huff and dances around..yeah, I get that excited...except for I usually throw some screams in there.

1. I play video games and I get super excited about new software and technology. Oh PS3!

So, I'm opening a store...

My weekend was busy, I'm so tired...so tired in fact, that this post will be pretty dumb, well, dumber than usual. :)

The sale I was in was at The Downs this weekend - Winnipegs race track. I love the race track, I'm not much of a gambler but I love betting on horses...anyways, thats off topic. (see? tired.)

My booth is behind all those women, I had line ups of women waiting to see my jewelry. The only time I had a chance to sit was when my mom came to help me. I love my mom.

I've decided that I have to open a store, its the logical conclusion after the response I continue to have about my jewelry.

It was my moms birthday today and she spent her whole weekend helping me. Since I knew she was going to help me, I treated her by renting a really nice suite close to The Downs for the weekend.
I was pooped coming home last nite. On Friday, I totally brought my A game and probably could have sold my pocket lint. Saturday I was still high energy but I give my performance an A-. Sunday and about 1000 transactions later, I ran out of steam and totally wasn't my high energy self. I didn't care if I sold any more at that point, man, that show sure takes a lot out of me... My friend who is a radio personality was giving me props on the radio and I had a whole bunch of people coming in asking me questions about her...it was pretty funny.

I must have not been that tired though cause I managed to notice this on our Banks sign while I was driving through town...It made me laugh my ass off and it also made me think...

That monday nite is date nite! Giddy up!

Monday is a busy busy day, I'm going to meet with my prof to discuss how to mark his midterms, then I'm going out with an old boss for a Caesar, I'm doing something small for my mom and then after all that I have a date! Sucks when you only have mondays to use for dates, but he's a guy I've been out with a few times and he seems to be patient when it comes to me and my stupid schedule.

No more babies!

Ok, so I've come to the conclusion that people need to be informed on how to juggle baby making around their sport schedule. Being an expert on 'not making babies' as well as an avid athlete I have decided to come up with the following plan for female athletes to follow:

Step 1: Determine your season. Do you play a summer sport? A winter sport? For example, Handball goes from November to April so note how long your season goes.

Step 2: Find Baby Making Period. To do this, take the last possible day of game play and subtract 2 months. I find most women don't know that they are truely pregnant until they are two months in. Also note that you will not be able to drink at your league windup. Keeping that in mind, wait till determined baby making period and....

Step 3: Drink like a sailor and get bus-eh! I think this part is pretty self explanitory. You drink because it may be the last time in a while, you get bus-eh because you want to make a baby. It is important to know your 'limit' so that you do not pass out during this process. For example, my limit is usually 3. (uh....I'm working on that OK?!?)

Step 4: Wait two months: If pregnant, Great! Else, repeat steps 1-3 when next season rolls around.

Step 5: Wait another 7 months. Pop out baby.

Step 6: Back just in time for another season!

Some people may have to deal with the issue of having a summer and a winter sport. For example, Football runs from July - October and Handball runs from November - April/May. My advice is that you have to prioritize and sacrifice the less significant season.

I hope this advice has been useful :)

Alrite everyone, have a great weekend! I'm in a sale from 10-9 for the next two days and then 12-5 on sunday so I'm not gonna be around my computer for three days! I think thats a record for me.

Procrastination

So, apparently I don't have enough to do right now cause I'm rather inclined to write a senseless post-o-Heather facts. So here we go:

10 Facts About Me That You Probably Didn't Need To Know:

10. My blood type is B+, I donate blood every 2 months and have donated over 25 times thus far.
9. I could have died when my old Oldsmobile (named nugget) was T-boned by a guy who ran a red.
8. In grade 7, I was the tallest kid and use to beat up the boys...I never grew an inch after grade 7.
7. I didn't kiss a guy until I was 19
6. I think glasses are sexy
5. I wore braces and headgear as a kid and I was teased a lot...damn mean kids.
4. My IQ is 143, I'm good at Quantitative Comparisons
3. My dad never let me call him 'daddy', he said daddy was a word wimpy girls used.
2. I've dated a guy 15 years older than me, and a guy 5 years younger.
1. I've been in business for 6 years, but it all actually started when I was 9 and making pom pom kitties for craft sales (I totally cornered the pom pom kitty market back then)

Speaking of craft sales...back to work...such a slacka!

I'll leave you with a cute picture of my cat...she's waaay cuter than I am right now! I look like a hobo.

Heather Does Dallas?

A few things I'm pondering right now:

Dallas Trade Show - Is Jan 21-23 of 2006. Double the cost of my Canadian shows but quadruple the exposure. I would probably get over 70 American buyers in this show but that also means that I would be busier than I am now. (which is ok cause busy girl = rich girl)

New Line - Creating a new line in conjunction with my current one called Rock Crystal. Similar designs to my current ones, but made with semi-precious and sterling silver. My current line has price points around 5 - 30 dollars and I would like to have a line that caters to the higher price point customers.

Store Front on the corner of Lilac/Corydon: I had a meeting with one of my buyers (and basically my mentor for retail businesses). She told me of a store front that I can have for a really good rental price. I would like a store front because I need a way to test out price points for my new line and I know for a fact that people who visit the sale I do twice a year would not even look at Rock Crystal because of the higher price point.

St.Vital Kiosk: Much more exposure than the store front...but I loose creative control and get to look like a tool sitting in a 10x15 booth. The cost to rent is also close t0 10 times the cost of the store front...but looots of exposure...

Yep, thats all thats going on in my business life...I have a sale at the Downs this weekend so I'm excited to try out a few new items that I have created.

Miss Cindy's Birthday

Well, my weekend was alrite. I took a coaching clinic, Competition A to add to my team handball coaching qualifications. I'm not gonna lie, it was dull because it was everything I already knew (practice plans, ethics 101, nutrition...) But I have come to the conclusion:

Bowling is NOT a sport! Sorry all you avid bowlers out there...but seriously, not a sport!

The reason I say this is because there was a 'bowling coach' who was getting his theory this weekend as well. Not only was he a pompous ass who thought everyone was wrong and he was right (which he never was) According to him:

- They don't make practice plans
- They don't access or teach their 'athletes' new skills (there is no right or wrong form)
- The athletes don't need proper nutrition or hydration

Which kind of defeats the purpose of anything he learned in this seminar. I conclude that bowling is a recreation.

On with my weekend:

It is my girl Cindy's birthday tomorrow, so we went out to what seems to be our usual stomping grounds these days - Coyotes.

Cindy has been one of my closest friends for about 10 years. Like every other close friend that I have, we don't have time to 'hook up' for a beer or a talk every week...but when we make the time its like nothing has changed, still the same old Cindy. Did I also mention that she's beautiful? Not just on the outside, she is truely a beautiful person on the inside too! (just like my other girl Jaimie :) )

Her mom (who I also call mom because she is my second mom) sat and chatted with us while we dipped into some vodka. I pulled out my camera and her mom decided we would have a pre-bar photo shoot.

This one was the 'normal' shot :)

Then she was like "now you're tigers! tigers! TIGERS! Lets see you be Tigers!"

Cindy: "Hahahah! My mom was trying to get me to pose on the floor earlier!"
Mom: "Heather, you look so innocent!"
Heather: "I AM innocent!"
Cindy/Mom: (laughter)
Heather: "why does no one believe me?!??"
You can't really see it, but there is a bruise on my elbow..its my first handball bruise of the season (1 of many to come). I'm proud of it because Jaimie gave it to me. :)

Cindy's mom drove us to the bar where we met up with Jaimie. I didn't bring my camera (expensive camera, too risky...I need a cheaper one). We had a typical bar nite, slight moments of drama, drinking and good times. I actually met a nice guy at the bar! His name was Dion, I think but the girls think its Ian...so who knows. All I know is that he was super nice to talk to, I talked to him all nite basically and he didn't try to anal probe me on the dance floor. But unfortunately for him, its a Heather policy to not give my phone number out at the bar. Maybe I'll run into him again one day.

Cindy and Jaimie had never met before, but they got along instantly! All three of us are very similar in personality so it makes for an interesting trio. We decided that we're going to Mexico during reading week in Feb and that we're going to have such a good time! Sooo pumped!

HEATHER and JAIMIE'S research project!

Thesis: Males attraction to a female is directly proportional to how fertile they are.
Equipment: Jaimie, Heather, Boob shirts, make up.
Constants: Same crazy bar, same crazy types of people, same amount of booze consumed.
Variable: Week one: Fertile Week two: not fertile
Observations:
Week 1: Beating them off with a stick, seriously have never been mauled so much in my life.
Week 2: Average, a few lookers but nothing as crazy as last week. Girls were hating us this week.
(which is nothing new...girls usually hate me until they get to know me and boys usually like me until they get to know me...which is why I have no real guy friends but some really special girl friends.)
Conclusion: Its not because we're hot that we get attention, its purely biological.

So we went home, well...I slept over at Cindy's house cause I had too much to drink (2 beers and a shooter thank-you-very-much!) Cindy let me borrow some PJs that her grandma bought her...check out those duds! I look hot with those little polar bears all over me! I should have gone to the bar like that! We ate cake, apparently booze didn't have enough sugar.
And then at 3:30, we went to bed. I had to wake up at 7:00 to get to the second part of my coach training...yeah, bar nite and then dry seminar..not a great combo...

Hope everyone else's weekend was great!

Friday!

Today, I was going to dedicate my post to my cousin who's birthday is today...but I've been told that I am not to mention my little cousins on my blog anymore. Apparently the fact that they are like sisters to me and are girls that I'm happy to know and excited to share my life with and wouldn't do anything to jepordize them isn't apparent enough.

Anyways, I don't really know the whole story or reasoning because I wasn't actually told in person that this was a problem...ugh, I hate that. In conclusion, happy b-day.

On with my day...today I'm going to explain a love of mine...my sport handball, or team handball.

No, its not with a tiny ball you hit against a wall...I wouldn't have posed with a ball that small. The balls are the size that me and the lovely Jaimie are modeling in yesterdays post.

Its been described as waterpolo - but on land. There are 7 players on the court at a time, 3 backs, 2 wings, 1 pivot and a goalie.

Wings - fast and agile, hang around closer the the base line and take shots at a ridiculous angle.

Backs - Strong and should be able to handle the ball well and see the court. Backs generally score by shooting over the defence or beating the defence with one-on-one moves.

Pivot - The 'shit disturber'. Stands on the opponents 6 meter crease and stirrs up the defence by setting picks or stopping the continuous defensive flow. Gotta be as tough as balls too because they get hit a lot on that defensive line.

Goalie - A player with a death wish...they have to be the craziest players in handball because they put there bodies through a lot of abuse. Our goalie just found out she's pregnant (congrats to her by the way) but now we don't have a goalie and we start in 2 weeks...the scramble begins.

Rules: There are lots, but I'm going to say the obvious ones
- 3 steps with the ball
- you can dribble the ball (not recommended, slows down the movement)
- no double dribble
- 5 seconds (I think) with the ball
- Anytime the offence is 'tied up' by the defense, a 'free throw' is taken at the 9 meter crease.
- Full contact, provided its 'clean'
- Any hitting from the side or back will result in a 2 minute penalty
- Any move that could cause serious injury is an automatic red card.
- Ball can hit any part of your body..but not below your knees.

How to win: Score! The team with the most points win. In league, womens scores are usually uppper teens. Mens scores in the upper 20s. Its a very fast paced, high scoring, hard hitting, exciting game.

Well, this weekend I'm getting my competition A certification in coaching...a weekend in a classroom...splendid! Saturday nite COYOTES! So, all my ridiculous friends! C'mon down and dance with me!

Looong Weekend!

For me and my fellow Canucks, we had our Turkey Day long weekend this weekend. Mine was long and very eventful with activites such as:
CK deely:
This was really a neat experience for me! I got a ton of exposure and the CK rep loves me so it was fantastically fun!
Fun with Jaimie:
Jaimiesson is one of my best girlfriends and we haven't had much time to go out lately. We decided that after Handball practice on Friday nite we'd dress our sweaty bodies up a little and go out. She is house sitting at Biggsy's house (he's a fellow handballer)

WELL, we've gone out lots but have NEVER been molested as much as we were on Friday! Me and Jaimie have this 'theory' as to why that was but I'm not going to explain it as of yet...further research needs to be done.

Sushi with my mom: (no photo available...lol)
Yeah, getting buzzed off of Martini's (ok, so I had 2..I'm a cheap drunk) and Sushi and then going shopping makes for an experience that is fun for you and entertaining for your mom.

Family Gathering for Turkey Day:
Every year we go to our Cottage for Thanksgiving. .
The food was great, we only forgot one thing...our football :( Every year we have a family football game I have now dubbed 'The Turkey Bowl', except this year was the first year we didn't play :( The family decided to have a Texas holdem tournament instead where my brother Chris cleaned up.
So, now I'm going to work off some of this turkey and then do some work. Hope everyone had a great weekend too!

Excited!

See me? I'm the midget in black. This is the premier division team that I coach on wednesday nites. (I play in elite) Last year was my first coaching them and I was a little intimidated...ok, thats an understatment, I was very intimidated. I'm younger than all the players I coach so I didn't know how well they'd listen to me and my handball know how.

So my first practice with them, I was pretty quiet and was like 'uh..excuse me, can you please line up on the base line?'...but then they were like 'Heather, nuff of this quiet stuff... coach us!' so now I say 'please line up on the base line' with conviction dammit!

I asked them to do some 'recruiting' over the summer...we needed more players to fill our roster cause people always have different commitments, priorities, etc... Between me and the ladies, we managed to get 13 new recruits! 13! I only am keeping 5 or 6 so I'll have to make some cuts for sure! Make cuts! Well, look at me being all coachy! Now I have to figure out some kind of 'try out' practice but its basically going to be like my regular practices and I'll just weed out the girls who can't cut it. We finished 2nd in premier last year...this year I think we'll have a little bit of rebuilding to do in the beginning...but we'll become stronger than ever.

Our Park

This is the park where I use to play. I'd ride my bike thru the monkey trails, hang from the monkey bars, I hit my first home run in this park. 10 years later, the park where I use to play isn't a park anymore. No more baseball diamonds or monkey bars, the trails are still there but they look a lot more dangerous than they did when I was a kid...(maybe cause I'm old...) It was run down and then shut down. No body cares for the park anymore.
Notice the snow? We had our first 'winter storm' today....freakin cold! Its still blowing like crazy outside!

My power has been out for 8 hours...hopefully it stays on for a little while now...geez! You'd think that in Manitoba (where winter thrives 6 months of the year) we'd have some kind of technology to prevent line freezage!

Booty Call

The past few nights I've had a visitor come to my window. Hes been hollering and hollering at my window wanting some action and I just ignore him. But he's a persistant little devil...4am, 5am, 6am....his calls have been waking me up.

Finally today, I confronted the culprit:

Meet Sr. Gato. I don't really know this cats name, so I made it up. This suave fur ball has been trying to get some pussy for some time now...at the expense of my sleep.
The object of his desire - my pussy cat Meesha who is a whoooole lotta pussy!
Sr.Gato and Meesha stared at each other for basically 3 hours....no word of a lie, Sr.Gato didn't move and neither did Meesha. Like the over protective mother that I am, I didn't let her out to 'play'. If I'm gettin no booty, neither is she! I'm sure I'll hear about it tonite.

Finals...Yay!

I've updated this post! :)

Friday I went out for lunch with one girlfriend and then shopping with another. Ok, maybe I'm the only one...but does anyone else dance in the change room? Whenever I try something on...I dance around in it. Needless to say, I bought a smokin outfit for tomorrow Football Windup and I'm gonna be trouble!

Friday nite was fantastic! Its just beautiful outside, no breeze, warm, and quiet! I got a chance to take my schmidt-cassegrain telescope out and view the lovely sky...ok, so this is one of the good things about living in the country. I'm a uber astro geek and just love going out to the local observatory to play with the big ass telescopes too! :) So yeah, thats all I basically did tonite, Oh! and I worked out because my handball practice was cancelled...*sniff sniff*....but I got to do some upper body. (I didn't want to tire out my legs...lots of running to be done in the game on sat)

Continuation:

We are the Champions! Yay Flash!
Well we won! And the game was insane! We played a team called Red, who's captain/coach/creator is 6 months pregnant and playing!?! Yeah, 6 months?!?!?! Are you freakin insane!?!? Oh, and she paid 10,000 dollars to have herself insaminated and she's recklessly going to put the kids life in danger by playing a rough sport...brilliant! I have lovingly nick-named her Beasty and will be using that name thought this post.

Well, Beasty is about 5'11, 230 pounds and did I mention 6 months pregnant? She doesn't seem to think that getting hit will effect her baby...or maybe she just doesn't care. Anyways, she decided she was only going to play defense...which is probably rougher than offense but she doesn't seem to care.

Red drew first blood on us, getting the first touchdown on our defense and the 1 point conversion. Then it was our offenses turn to strike back (note, I'm a reciever on the offense line..catchin is my thang...).

First play of the game, Beasty matches herself up against me. I run a fly (a pattern in which you just run straight) and as I run past her, she two hands me in the back and I go flying on my face. Yeah, I'm totally not impressed so I look at her and say 'excuse me, you can't do that'...her responce 'you ran into ME sweetheart!'...I explained the difference between running past her and running into her and then cooled it because I don't need to get in a fight with a pregnant beast.

Side note: Beasty REALLY hates me...we both play football, handball and make jewelry and I'm better than her in all three....so she was totally out to get me this game.

Our offense continued to drive the ball down the field and each and every time I ran near her, she'd full on push or body check me...I was not impressed so I asked the refs to watch for that...the problem is that the refs know Beasty pretty well and so they were like 'uh..um...she's not doing anything'...so I guess my coaches were screaming on the sidelines and I was tasting the turf for fun eh? The worst thing was that I was just letting her hit me...I didn't want to hit her hard back...what if she lost the baby because of it?!?! Not impressed.

On our first offensive drive, we score as well...no 1 point conversion though so its 6 - 7 for Red.

By the end of the first half, the score was 13 - 12 for Red, each has scored another touch down.

Our offense managed to score two single points by punting the ball into the end zone and then sacking the player who caught it...by end of third quarter we were winning 14-13.

In the fourth, Beasty was still pairing herself with me and due to a few great completes I made for first downs, she was sicking other team mates on me as well. We were 2nd and about 8 to the end zone and Red decided to double rush our QB. I went in to run an 'in-out' (faking in field in hopes that your defender will bite on that then running out) and Beasty totally bit it! I was suuuper open and by the time she realized that I was catching the ball for a touch down! It was very sweet...a million times better than any smack I could have layed on her. She of course smacked me on the back about 7 seconds after I caught it and I just turned to her and said 'you're a little late for that...'

Our D played some stellar defense and our O ran down the clock making 'safe' plays...and we won! yay! Take that Beasty!

Our team then celebrated by shooting a liter of vodka and then taking a communal shower (is there any other kind?) aaaah...tooo funny. I made each girl on my team a yellow necklace, which they all wore and then we danced the night away and won the social.

How do you win the social you ask? Well, me and my teams have been doing this for years now...you win by being the loudest, drunkest and the last group of people to drag your sorry asses from the party. You are then declared the winner.

Our coach said a great thing to us too the moment that we won...he said "Ladies, Flash will forever be remembered at the first team to win this cup in the women's league and no one can take that away from you." Then he suggested that he come watch the communal shower and we punched him.